


The 1

by lily_ddark



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
Genre: F/F, anyways stan fem baz, basilone, fem!SnowBaz, fuck that bitch, im so excited abt this, lamb is a dick, shes amazing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:01:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 4,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27895735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lily_ddark/pseuds/lily_ddark
Summary: Fem!Snowbaz fic!Simone and Basil are paired together in a school project, and their past and present relationships come back to haunt them as they struggle to confront their feelings.
Relationships: Dev & Niall & Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Dev/Niall (Simon Snow), Lamb & Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch & Agatha Wellbelove, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 7
Kudos: 25





	1. I hit the ground running each night

I cling onto Lamb’s arm as Simone walks by our lunch table. I avoid her gaze and I look staright ahead and pretend I care about what Lamb’s talking about.

Him, Niall, and Dev are all talking about the recent football game. I’m not listening.

Simone is sitting down at her table and her red hair floats around her as she turns to grab Philippa’s newly manicured hands she’s showing off.

Today Simone is wearing big blue knitted sweater that has little yellow flowers on it and a matching yellow skirt. She’s so pretty it’s disgusting.

I wish Agatha was here so I could be distracted from thinking about Simone. That asshole takes over my head without even trying.

I shift close to Lamb (which isn’t even his real name. It’s a stupid nickname he came up with himself), feeling like he’s a shield hiding me from anything behind him. I do that a lot, but it never really works.

He wraps his arm around me which makes me want to throw up and run away screaming. I shift even closer anyways, thinking if I move close enough I can melt away and disappear.

I glance at the clock in the corner of the cafeteria and lunch is about to end. I move to look at Simone one last time before the bell rings and I’m staring right into her eyes.

The bell sounds and everyone starts to get up, making her vanish right in front of me.


	2. You know the greatest films of all time were never made

“Symbolism, is _very_ important,” Ms. Petty rambles from ontop of her desk (she likes to sit up there for some reason. She’s like a cat).

“And in art it’s even more important. For this assignment I want you to add a boat-load of symbolism of a portrait of someone in this class.”

“Oh my god,” Agatha smiles from her seat beside me, “I know the perfect place to take pictures for references and everything Basil, we can get dressed up and sketch out our ideas afterwards.”

I shift my body to her and grab my sketch book, placing it on my knees, “I could totally use leaves for you, as a symbolism do your flighty-ness.”

She kicks my leg, “What does _that_ mean.”

I look up at her and raise an eyebrow, “You know what it means.”

She huffs at me and starts to write notes in her own sketch book, “I could do...um...water for you? Because you’re such a pissbaby?”

I throw my eraser at her, “Shut _up_ , Wellbove.”

She stuffs the erase into her book and scrunches her nose at me, “You’re not getting that back, bitch.”

I narrow my eyes at her but before I can spit a storm of profanities at her Ms. Petty speaks again, “Hold on! I forgot to mention I’ll be assigning partners at random! Isn’t that fun! Y’all will get to talk to new people!”

Everyone groans and I scribble out my notes as Agatha rips the page out of her book.

“Alright,” Mrs. Ebb says, as she grabs a fishbowl with tiny slips of paper in them, “These papers have each of your names on them and I’ll be picking two at a time. Here we go.”

“Shepard....and Niall.”

“Dev and......Lamb.”

“Agatha and.....Ginger.”

Agatha wiggles in her seat, clearly excited. I see Ginger flush and I mentally roll my eyes. They’re not very subtle.

“Gareth and.....Philippa.”

“Penelope.....and Rhys.”

Penelope is sitting behind me and I hear her mumble something to ‘Could’ve been worse’.

“Simone and....Basil.”

I feel my stomach drop and I look across the room at her. She’s not even looking at me, she’s just mindless sketching into her book.

It’s almost like she doesn’t mind.


	3. And if you wanted me, you really should've showed

Agatha and I are walking through the parking lot to her car, “I’m so over school,” she sighs.

“Same,” I responded, swinging my keys around my finger, “Especially with art. It’s like Ms. Petty tried to pair everyone who hated eachother for some reason.”

“Yeah,” Agatha wiggles between two cars and I follow, “What’s up with that honestly?”

“I don’t know. I would ask her if I could switch with someone but...,” I trail off, staring at her car.

Agatha stops and looks at me, “But?”, then she turns to follow my gaze, “Well shit.”

“Shit indeed,” I grumble as we both glare at Simone.

Her dumb curly hair is flowing around her shoulders as she raises a hand to her face to block out the sun.

I speed up to get ahead of Agatha and when I’m infront of Simone I cross my arms and scowl, “What the fuck do _you_ want?”

She sticks her chin up (her and her fucking chin I swear to god), “I came here to ask you when we would be working on our project.”

Agatha comes up behind me and Simone shoots her a look as she talks, “Can you get the fuck away from my car bitch?”

“Agatha it’s fine,” I sigh looking back at Simone, “We can talk about that later, Snow,” I mutter at her, before I walking to the other side of the car to the passenger’s door.

Agatha bumps Simone’s shoulder before opening the car door, “Stay the hell away from my car, asshat.”

She gets into her seat and right before she can close it, Simone stops it halfway. She pops her head inside, “I’ll text you, Basil.” I look away from her, “Sure.”

The door closes and she walks away. Agatha doesn’t say a word for the rest of the drive.


	4. But we were something, don't you think so?

I bury my face into my pillow and grip the sides of it as Taylor Swift sings from my phone. The good memories and the bad memories of Simone are tangled up together.

When she would tuck my long black hair behind my ears. The time she turned her back on me when I came to school with a black eye caused by some random homophobe that saw me kiss her goodbye on her porch.

She and I were ‘best friends’ all through high school, right up to senior year. She hadn’t come to terms with...anything we were. I never tried to pressure her to. I didn’t want to scare her away.

I grumble and roll over while pulling my blanket over my shoulders. Dev says in order for me to get over this I have to stop thinking about it. He’s right of course, but I wouldn’t say that to his face.

My phone pings and I grab it, expecting a update about Ginger from Agatha. To my disappointment, it’s actually a text from Simone fucking Snow.

_Simone: hey baz can we talk about our project_

_ Me: I would prefer it if you didn’t call me Baz. _

_ Simone: oh sure _

_ Simone: so can we talk about our project _

_ Simone: can i call u _

I stare at my phone a slight frown on my face. I don’t think I could handle calling her...I’m finally distancing myself from her...but we do need to get the project done right?

_ Me: Okay. _

_ Simone: ok hold on _

My phone rings and I stare at it for awhile before sliding on the answering button, “Hello.” “Hi,” Simone says, he soft voice echoing in my ear.

Was this a bad idea? Maybe.

I clear my throat, “So, where should we start?” “Oh! Well I already have a reference photo of you...It’s one of us from last year.” “Okay...” “Right and I have a list written out for the symbolism I’m going to use.”

“Okay...can you read it for me?” “Oh,” I can hear her smile, “Of course. So, I have smoke, silk, blue and purple colors- and- and I have an idea of using like silk pieces of fabric and incorporating into the portrait.”

I can’t help but smile at her excitement, “Oh...” “So is it good?” “Yes, umh, I don’t have much for yours yet.” “Oh that’s okay.” There’s a wave of silence before she speaks again, quietly this time.

“Basil?” “Yes?” “Why did we stop being friends?” “Umh...”


	5. And if my wishes came true, it would've been you

“Basil?” “Yeah- it’s just-“ “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.” “I just...”

I can hear someone walking down the hallway and I recognize the steps as my father’s. “I have to go, Snow.” She make a frustrated noise, “Okay, bye Basil.” “Bye,” I whisper before hanging up.

There’s a knock on my door and I get up to open it. “Hello father,” I say as he looks down at me. “Have you finished your studies?” “Mostly.”

His expression is blank as he stares at me, “You should finish now. You wouldn’t want to disappoint your mother.” I nod, “You’re right.”

He nods back before leaving, and walking down the hall of our Victorian styled home. I close the door, and I sigh.

I wonder which mother he was talking about.

When I go to sit down my bed again, there’s a text from Simone.

_Simone: we should meet up at the library tmrw at that spot we used to sit at_

_Me: What time?_


	6. In my defense, I have none

“I thought you said you’d just stop talking to her!” “This is different Dev,” I say as I adjust my oversized red and gray patterned cardigan. I’m wearing black and white plaid pants with it and of course, black converses.

“How exactly is this different?” “It’s for school,” I say rolling my eyes, “Don’t be a dick.” “I’m just trying to help you Basil.” “I know,” I sigh.

We reach the library and he pats my back as we walk inside, “Good lucky Bazzy.” “Don’t call me that,” I mutter as I walk towards the back of the building.

There’s a table behind the selves in the very back. Snow and I would sit there together, talk about everything and occasionally, kiss.

It probably meant nothing to her. I turn the corner of the last shelf and Simone is sitting at the table in sweatpants and yellow crop top.

Jesus christ I’m gone too far. “Hey,” I say. Simone looks up from her sketches, “Hey.”

I sit down infront of her and point to her sketch book, “Can I look at it?” Her cheeks swirl with red, “Yes of course.” She turns it around and I look over it, “Wow.”

The sketches are of me, and it’s from a picture we took last year. I had my head on her shoulder, and I was smiling...It almost looks strange to see myself look like that.

“So, are they’re good?” “Yes...it’s really good.” She smiles at me and takes it back, “Thank you.” I look away from her, and pull out my own sketch book.


	7. We never painted by the numbers, baby

“So,” I say pulling out a cigarette before lighting it, “I thought I’d take a picture from your instagram and-“ “Why are you smoking?”

I look up from my book, “What?” Her tone is shushed, “I thought you stopped. You told me you did.” I blow smoke out of the corner of my mouth, “It’s been months since we even spoke to each other. Fuck off.”

She looks down at her book with a scrunched face, “Yeah uh, I guess you’re right.” I look down back at my book, “Yeah. So, I was going to use light tones and-“

“Basil.” “What?!” “I’m sorry.” I take an inhale of my cigarette and shake my head, “For what?” “Eveyrthing.”

“Let’s just do our project-“ “Basil.” I look up, “Jesus fuck Snow we don’t have to talk about this.” “We do, and we should,” she says with a shaky voice, “Look at how fucked up we are.”

“We?,” I hiss, “I’m not fucked up, _you’re_ the one who...” I take a deep breath, “Can we just do our project?” “How are we supposed to when we have so much we haven’t talked about?”

“You know what? Fuck you,” I frown as I get up from my seat, “Fuck all of this.” “Wait,” she says standing up, “Basil I’m-“

“No,” I say walking down the hall, “Leave me the fuck alone.” I can hear her sigh as I angrily stomp outside.

I slump aganist the wall and blow smoke out of my mouth. Why did I think this would work out?

_Me: I’m outside, let’s go home._

_Dev: Shit did something happen_

_Me: Just come outside._

I wait a couple minutes Dev’s finally outside with a couple books under his arm, “Hey Basil are you alright?” I nod, “I will be. Let’s go get drunk.”


	8. I guess you never know, never know, and it's another day, waking up alone

Lamb opens the door with a smug face, “Hey babe.” God kill me. “Hey,” I mumble walking in past him. Dev follows and does that weird bro hug with Lamb.

I’ve always liked Lamb’s house, It’s modern and nicely decorated. Lamb lead us to the living room and opens the mini fridge they have.

He tosses a couple of beers towards us and I open my mine and immediately start chugging it.

Woah slow down there,” Lamb says as he slides in next to me, “Don’t want to get too tipsy, you know how girls are when they’re drunk.”

Dev glares at him, “Shut up.” Lamb rolls his eyes at him, “She doesn’t care.” I keep drinking my beer and ignore both of them.

After we sit and watch tv for awhile, Dev’s phone rings and he goes into the hallway to answer it. His eyes are soft and his mouth is being forced into a straight line.

He’s talking to Niall. I’ve known about their relationship for awhile but I don’t want to pry. Dev hangs up and pokes his head into the room, “I’m leaving, will you be alright Basil?”

I look up and before I can say anything Lamb speaks for me, “She’ll be fine.” I look straight ahead and stare at the infomercial that’s playing on the screen.

Dev hesitantly leaves after I don’t say anything. The door closes, and the movie is back on. Instead of paying attention, my mind wanders off to old memories.

“ _Everyone is saying we’re dating Basil- and I- well- I need you to tell them it’s not true.” “I have Snow! And I’ve done more than that too! I’ve taken punches for it and all you ever do is cry and say your sorry! But you never do anything about it!”_

Lamb’s breathing is loud. He’s trying to scoot closer on the couch to me and I sit perfectly still.

_“What am I supposed to do? I’m sorry but you know I...well...you know.” “Know what Snow? That you can’t comprehend that you kiss me? That you’ve made out with me?”_

I feel my skin crawl every time Lamb gets closer. It’s different from him holding me, this time he wants something.

_“Shut up!” “No! Fuck you for making me deal with this on my own Snow! I get that you’re having a hard time with this but jesus why would you let me get all the shit for it!”_

“Basil,” he says aganist my ear, “Let’s go up to my room-“ “We should break up,” I say quietly, looking ahead with a straight face.

_ “You know that I care about you Baz, I care about you so much.” “Then why can’t you act like it?” _

“What?” I get up, and clench my beer firmly as I look straight into his eyes, “I’m breaking up with you, Lamb.” “What? Why?” I glare at him, “Because you’re a fucking dick that’s why.”


	9. Roaring twenties, tossing pennies in the pool

I shift aganist my wooden porch and watch the rain fall aganist the tips of my shoes. I hold my cigarette between my fingers and I blow smoke out of my mouth.

My phone starts ringing and I answer it, “Hey.” “I saw Lamb’s post, what the fuck Basil?” I let out a laugh, “I broke up with him, Agatha”.

“Yeah no shit Sherlock I could tell.” “Mhh.” “How’d it happend?” “Well, I told him he was a dick-“ “Rightfully so.” “-Yes and then I walked out of his house as he finally realized why I wouldn’t sleep with him.”

Agatha sighs, “Why did you even date him.” I groan and lean back, “At first...I thought he would make me straight. Then I thought he was the perfect beard, since you know, he’s so ‘manly’.”

I hear her laugh, “Christ.” I smile and sigh, “I’m so glad that’s over now.” She stays quiet and the pattering of the rain fills in her silence.

“What about Simone.” “What about her?” “Don’t play dumb.” I groan and stick my cigarette in my mouth, “I don’t know what I’m going to do. It’s not like things have changed.”

“Bullshit, I bet you she’s changed.” “And why do you believe that?” “I friends with her Basil, she’s braver now that...well she’s changed.”

I sigh, “So what do I do?” “Talk to her!” “No,” I say blowing out smoke, “I don’t think we can ever get to that point again.”

“Well you’re dramatic.” I snort, “I know.” I hear footsteps and loud breathing, so I look up. My eyes meet Simone’s and she looks at me from my driveway in a yellow raincoat.

“Uh...I’ll call you back,” I whisper, before hanging up the phone and staring at a rain soaked Simone. She stares back at me, “Can I come inside?”


	10. Persist and resist the temptation to ask you, if one thing had been different

Simone is sitting on my silk bed sheets, with our family dog in her arms. It’s like how it used to be.

Her face is focused on Duke, our little german shepard. “Snow.” She looks up at me and sighs, “Yeah?” “Why are you here?”

She looks away from me, and at my vintage wallpaper, “I’m...I’m sorry f-for what happened at the library-“ “No Snow, I should apologize to _you_. I was an ass.”

“No,” she frowns, “Let me say sorry for this and everything else. I’ve been such a bitch to you and I’m sorry.”

I clench my jaw and look down at my hands, “I broke up with Lamb.” I hear her take a sharp breath, “What?”

“I broke up with him today...for the obvious reasons.” “Him being a dick?” “That too.” She laughs and I smile.

“My mom kicked Davy out of the house.” I jerk my head up to look at her, “Really?” She has a soft smile on her face, “Yeah. It’s so much better now, Basil...it’s like- like umh...”

“When flowers bloom after winter?” “Yeah,” she nods, beaming at me. Her face goes soft and she looks me in the eyes —something she never does, “I’m sorry, really Basil. I should’ve told you...how I felt back then.”

She takes a deep breath, “And I...I want you know that-“ “It’s okay,” I say, “We’re past that now.” Her eyes flick down and she nods, “Yeah.”

I hear my phone buzz a bunch of times, and I ignore it. I turn to Simone and she smiles softly at me, “So does this mean we’re friends again, Basil?”

I look into Simone’s eyes and think about all the days I cried over her. All the times I had to remind myself that she didn’t want me.

Expect now, when I stare into her plain blue eyes, all of that doesn’t matter.

“Yes.”


	11. Rosé flowing with your chosen family

I pass the cigarette back to Agatha as Dev scoffs, “Those things smell horrible.” Agatha takes a hit and glares at him, “Shut up.”

She passes it back to me and I hold on my fingers as I lean back aganist one of the outside cafe chairs we’re all sitting in.

I look down at the sketch of Simone I have placed on the table. It’s a picture of her smiling and I’ve colored it in shades of warm tones and her eyes are the only blue in the picture.

I look up at the equally blue sky and sigh, “Do you guys think I’ve made a mistake?”

Agatha blows smoke out of her mouth, “Not at all.” “Yes.” Agatha and I turn to Dev. “What do you mean yes?,” she asks.

He sighs , “Basil last time you were her friend you got your heart broken, so you really think this is the best idea?”

I stick the cigarette in my mouth and shake my head, “I know but-“ “But what? It’s different this time? Really?” “Dev!,” Agatha hisses, “Piss off.”

I let my head hang, “No he’s right.” They look at me in silence. “Maybe this is a mistake-“ Agatha stops me, “My god shut up Basil.”

I turn to look at her and raise an eyebrow, “What?” She rolls her brown eyes and glares at me, “If you really want to be around Simone, be around her. Don’t let people around you change your mind about the way you feel about her.”

Dev grumbles as I nod, “You’re right.” Agatha snorts, “No shit.” I stand up and hand the cigarette to Agatha before grabbing my sketch pad, “I’m going to her house right now.”

“Woah woah,” she says, “What?” I fix my black knitted sweater and adjust my white turtle neck as I nod, “I’m going to her house Agatha.”

I look at Dev and hold out my hand, “Can I have my car keys?” He frowns, “How would we get home?” “My house isn’t too far from here just crash there.”

His face is unreadable as he stares at me. “Dev,” I whisper, He looks up at me, shakes his head, and then places the keys into my plam.


	12. In my defense, I have none, for digging up the grave another time

I pound my fist aganist the wooden door and wait for it to open. Simone’s house is warm and homey. It’s all shades of warm colors and I love it more than life it’s self.

The door opens a crack, and a pair of wrinkled blue eyes stare at me, along with a pair of black ones coming from Simone’s cat.

“Hi Mrs. Salisbury.” Simone’s mother opens the door the whole way and smiles at me, “Basilton? I haven’t seen you in ages, hi!”

“I know it’s been awhile, is Simone here?” She nods, and motions for me to come inside.

I do, and she places a warm hand on my back, “Oh Simone’s in her room, you get sit down at the kitchen table and I’ll go get her.”

I nod and walk to the familiar kitchen, and sit at their little wooden table. I fidget with my sketchbook as I look around the tiny kitchen.

There’s footsteps walking down the stairs and before I know it Simone’s standing infront of me in a yellow oversized t-shirt and sweatpants.

“Hey,” she says with a big smile. “Hey,” I say back. She turns to look over her shoulder quickly, and then looks back at me, “Want to go up to my room?”

“Yea, sure.” I follow her upstairs and once we’re in her room she sits on her bed. I opt for her desk chair and I notice the portrait that she drew of me.

“Can I look at it,” I say to her. She nods quietly and I peer down at it.

My face is painted golden, and there’s trails of blue across for lighting and texture. My hair is made of silk and my clothes are swirls of lighter colors, making me stand out.

“This is amazing Snow,” I say. She smiles and walks over to me and looks at it as well, “Yeah?” “Yeah...do you want to see the one of you?”

She nods and I open up my sketch book and she whispers, “Woah.”

“You like it?,” I ask as I look up at her and she’s smiling down at me, “Why’d come over? For the project?” “Uh,” I turn my head away from her, “No. Umh, I have to tell you something.”

“Oh,” she says leaning aganist the desk, “What is it?” I look back up at her and take a deep breath, “I know we just became friends...but I can’t _just_ be friends with you, Snow.”

Her eyebrows raise up, “What?” I gently place my hands on her waist and she inhaled sharply. “I’m in love with you Simone.”

She shakes her head in confusion as her eyes become big, “You- I- D-Do you really?” I nod and she moves closer to me, almost sitting in my lap.

Simone’s face is close to mine and she looks down at my lips, “Can I kiss you?” “You can do anything you want to me, Snow.”

And she does, she places her lips on mine and straddles me. I let out an embarrassing noise as she pushes me father, and it’s almost like it used to be, almost better.

Her hands trail my sides and hold her hips, moving my hands lower as her mouth finds its way to my neck.

She moves away from me and looks me in the eyes with a big dorky smile on her face, “Will you be my girlfriend Basil?” I smirk at her, “I thought you’d never ask.”


End file.
